“And let’s be honest: youth is beautiful. You as a couple are the best-looking you’ll ever be, this minute. 20th anniversary photos will be touching for sure, but nothing else save the wedding will capture the luminosity you’ve got right now — which you probably don’t even know you have.” -Lessons Learned From the (in)Famous Chicken Suit Pics

Today I am in the middle of a workshop with Tanja Lippert (the hilarious photographer who did the naked + chicken suit engagement session referenced above).

Posted in engagements, wisdom No Comments »

REALBRIDEINADRESS.com
I love the concept for this new website! As regular readers know, I have an entire website dedicated to special fine art photo sessions with women in their wedding dresses [fearlessbridals.com] so when Kylah approached me because she wanted to feature photos from a couple of my brides, I was thrilled to be a part of the concept.  Real Bride in a Dress connects women to images of real ladies in wedding dresses – to give them a more realistic idea about the fit and detailing. She featured Suzy’s wedding in Palos Verdes, CA and Colleen’s bridal session at Wellesley College over on the new site. Click on the images to see more!

OFFBEATBRIDE.COM

Katie and Victor’s eco-friendly wedding at Quailcrest Farm in Wooster, Ohio was featured on Offbeat Bride:

We’re not strangers to the OBB concept and client… Our wedding photography was also featured in 2007 and 2008 [2008-1] [2008-2]

Posted in accolades, fearless bridals, press, wisdom No Comments »

I’ve had a rough couple of weeks trying to keep my head above the water with all the cute familes and multiple portrait sessions for the holidays. I’m currently pulling an all-nighter until I get some photos up for Thomas and Kristin, my delightful final Boston wedding.

Glancing at email just now, I noticed a thoughtfully-written inquiry for a 2010 wedding. The mother of the bride wrote to me to ask about my availability and consideration. It’s obvious this woman grew up in a pen and ink culture.  I want to share a small part of her message, because this made my week feel special.

“I have recently viewed your website gallery and admire your work very much…

“I referred my daughter to [a recent couple]‘s gallery and she was equally impressed. We’re very attracted to your style as it is not contrived but is very honest. You are able to capture the beauty and joy in your couples and their families. My daughter is planning a wedding for September 2010. We are interested in securing you as the photographer for her wedding.

[...]

“Thank you for the courtesy of considering our offer.  I look forward to hearing from you.”

There is much more to her message, but this snippet is the perfect reminder that good photography is real and honest and beautiful because it is true. It can be soul-draining as a photographer to receive email after email from price shopping brides and others who are not looking so much at the quality of work as the quantity in a package. If I had five dollars for every time I was questioned about the pricing of my work, a carefully considered cost, I could probably retire wealthy next year.

Thank you so much to those of you who take the time and effort to share a bit of your heart and breathe words of life back to the artist.

Posted in accolades, wedding, wisdom No Comments »

I’m up extra early thanks to allergies, so I thought I’d share some things that caught my eye this week.

• Our Labor of Love smilebooths take the wedding photobooth to a new level with custom themes. My jaw dropped. [ link ]
• Michigan portrait photographer Amy Wenzel shares tips for sharper images. [ link ]
• Lifehacker writes about becoming a better photographer. Links to a GREAT list. [ link ]
• Count me among the typography snobs of the world, but I do get personally offended when someone uses Comic Sans. This made me laugh. [ link ]
• Totally random, but I took my car in to be detailed the other day after a bottle of home brew beer exploded on my back seat. I called around until I found someone who seemed to love their job, and ended up with Bumper2Bumper in Woburn. Give them a try and your car will thank you! [ link ]
• I work together with a wonderful and talented illustrator Julia Denos, who shares some great stuff about Audrey Hepburn in a recent post. [ link ]
• Check out the perfect little man ringbearer bowties here. [ link ]
• Custom made men’s suits here. [ link ]
• Anita and Haady’s photos were picked up by some random Iranian discussion board. [ link ]
• Erin and Jared’s wedding (originally picked up by OffbeatBride) was featured on a Hot Pink Petticoat [ link ] and DivineCaroline  [ link ]
• I attended a wedding in Chicago as a guest, and a crazy photo of Ali and I on the dance floor made the blog post. Chicago-area wedding photographer Kenny Nikai did a great job documenting the day. [ link ]
• If you’re in the process of changing your name legally, I used and highly recommend MissNowMrs. $30 and it helps autofill many of the forms you need and draft letters to the banks. [ link ]

• One more funny link, facebook in real life. HA! [ link ]

Posted in ethnic wedding, for photographers, inspiration, press, wedding, wisdom No Comments »

I am always fascinated by brides who choose to do their own flowers. Reasons for the choice can range from the lack of financial backing required to hire a wedding professional, to outrage at the cost of bouquets, all the way to brides with a serious interest and skill in arranging flowers. I’m not convinced that in most cases it actually saves money… but that’s another entry altogether.

I asked Julia, a recent bride, to share some of her strategies and thoughts after doing many of the elements of her wedding herself.  She had a lot of info to share! I thought others interested in sourcing their own local flowers might be interested in hearing what she has to say.

I am delighted that we did our own flowers, but the process was rather more stressful than it had initially seemed.  I’m not sure when the idea of buying flowers from local farms first entered my head, but it was driven by a few factors.  Firstly, florists are really expensive!  Really, really expensive.  Secondly, we try to live lightly on the earth and the thought of ordering flowers flown in from Africa or wherever they were in season at the moment made us slightly green to think about.  Buying locally assured us that we were minimizing the footprint of our flowers.  Google showed me that there are three farms in my area that sell cut-your-own-flowers.  One uses traditional farming, one uses integrated pest-management, and one is basically organic, minus the expensive organic-certification process.  While buying organic is important, we feel that buying local usually outweighs it, even if traditional fertilization and pest-management practices are used.  Thirdly, buying local allowed us to support local business and who can argue with that?  It felt like being cheap and making decisions in line with our consciences had finally aligned.

We knew we didn’t want a formal wedding.  Having the ceremony be sacred was important, but we were not interested in having a reception, but wanted a party instead.  To this end, we hired a bluegrass band and forwent speeches, tosses, and cake smashing of all kinds.  Casual flowers made sense with this in mind.

We decided that we would make three bouquets, one for me, my sister, and Andrew’s sister, and centerpieces.  We eschewed boutonnieres, as Andrew didn’t love the thought of wearing flowers, and from there decided to abandon corsages for the moms too.  The church is a very special building for me and is also just a lovely space and we thought it was entirely pretty enough without a bit of “help” from us.  For centerpieces, we decided on mason jars and bud vases.  We ended up with two masons and two bud vases per table (though we’d originally planned for 3-4 masons per table).  All of the vases were thrifted and about half the mason jars were as well.  To hold up the table names, we inserted those card-holders that come in flower vases into one mason jar per table.

I visited small farm in Stow, MA during the summer and talked to the owner about what their availability would be in early September.  She rattled off the names of a few flowers, most of which I promptly forgot, and said that the 12th should be alright, because the first frost wasn’t due till the 17th or so.  Back in July this seemed like plenty of cushion, though as the day drew nearer I was convinced that all that would be left would be a few wilty black-eyed susans, half-killed by the early frost and riddled with bug-eaten holes.  I alternately whipped myself into quite the nervous frenzy and convinced myself that it would be fine and we could just go to the grocery store if things got hairy.

I have no prior experience dealing with flowers at all.  Nada.  On Wednesday evening before the wedding, it occurred to me that maybe this was a concerning fact.  In the afternoon, I went to Parlee Farms in Tyngsboro, MA and picked a bunch of zinnias to try my bouquet-making skills with.  Armed with ribbon, lots of floral tape, wire, and corsage pins, I plopped myself on my kitchen floor and went to work.  The result was an unmitigated disaster and my worst flower-assembling fears were confirmed.  Zinnias are far too fragile for my clumsy, inexperienced hands and I broke stems with abandon.  I also couldn’t figure out how to layer the flowers so the petals lay prettily.  Mild panic ensued.  There may have been some tears.  Hoping that sturdier flowers would be an answer to my teary prayers, I went to Whole Foods and bought a bunch of sunflowers and some purple asters with plans of making a practice bouquet for myself.   Within fifteen minutes or so I had a passable bouquet and felt much better about life.  I wrapped it up with my ribbon, stuck some pins in it, and exclaimed at its monstrous weight.  That thing was heavy!

A friend, Krista, and I picked all of the flowers on Friday morning.  (In the drizzle, might I add!)  We started at about 9:30 and finished around 2:30.  We brought buckets (three gallon I think?) from Home Depot to transport the flowers and borrowed my parents’ SUV so that we’d have enough room for everything (which was a good call, but oh my environmentalist’s heart was heavy at that!)  We started at small farm.  The owner was right, there was still plenty of selection.  Krista and I spent about $19 there, I think, and picked maybe two 3gal buckets and 1/2 5gal bucket worth.  They sold flowers by container– each container was $5.25 and you paid that flat rate for as many flowers as you were willing to cram into it.  Sunflowers were sold per head separately, though I now forget the cost.  It was about $0.40/head I think.  We bought all my sunflowers there.  Then we continued to Verrill Farms in Concord, MA.  We spent $21.45 there, I think.  The cost was per head, I think $0.25.  This worked out to be about the same unit price as at small farm.  Though we were concerned that we were paying more there, when we got our flowers back to the car, we had about the same amount as what we’d purchased earlier.

I had budgeted approximately $100 for flowers, and we came in at $40 for the flowers themselves and about another $40 on supplies, jars, and bud vases.

We brought all of our flowers back to my parents’ house, where we spread everything out on the living room floor, which was protected by old towels.  My sister, Gail, and Andrew pitched in and the four of us assembled all the flowers in about two hours.  It was mayhem.  Krista and Andrew did the centerpieces, Gail assembled her and Andrew’s sister Brittany’s bouquets, and I assembled my own and helped with centerpieces.  After everything was put together, we left the bouquets in mason jars full of water and Andrew drove the centerpieces to the hall sans water to minimize the risk of a flooded car and filled each jar when he got there.  Everything was stored out in the open in regular room-temperature air.  The centerpieces were stored in a dark room, my bouquet was stored in my kitchen, and the other two bouquets were stored in my parents’ kitchen.  We didn’t really take any special steps to protect them, as we were counting on their being so fresh to see them through to the next day.

Everything looked beautiful the day of.  I ended up leaving the flower-assembling “party” before everything was finished, so I never saw all the finished centerpieces until we walked into the room in front of all our guests.  They held up just fine, as did our bouquets.  Gail’s and Brittany’s bouquets had a few casualties–all zinnias–but nothing that was noticeable.  Mine looked entirely fine.  God bless those sturdy, sturdy sunflowers! It was a lot of work and a fair bit of stress, but I think it was worth it.  If we’d been having a formal affair or had been more concerned with having our flowers just so, I don’t know that this path would have worked stellarly for us.  We were fortunate .  We were fortunate in that homemade was exactly the look we were going for, so we had some leeway to just shrug and go on.

What no one can have too much of is help!  Because fresh flowers necessarily need to be done at the very end, this isn’t something you can just pound through yourself.  Things would have gone a lot faster and we would have had a lot more flowers to work with if we’d had two or maybe even three more people to help us cut the flowers.  Cutting that many flowers takes a very long time!  Much, much longer than you anticipate.  You cannot have too many hands at that point in the process.  If it hadn’t been for Krista, I would have found myself backed into a stressed-out corner very quickly.  If we’d had more personal flowers or significantly more centerpieces to assemble, I don’t know that we would have been able to pull it off with the man-power that we had.

I’m very happy that we did our flowers this way.  It spoke exactly to both our ethics and our aesthetics. It would have been a lot easier to just have a florist deliver everything ready to go the morning-of, though, so there’s certainly a trade-off to consider.  For us looking back, it was worth the stress, though while I was driving around what felt like the entire eastern half of Massachusetts in the rain in a low-level simmering sort of panic, I don’t know if I’d have answered so positively.  (A note: we were certainly helped by the fact that there were numerous options for us fairly close-by!  If there hadn’t been any convenient farms in the area, this idea would have gone no where fast.)

Some notes from Julia about her styling:

My dress is the J Crew Robin.  It was comfortable and really affordable.  I had it hemmed so that I could wear it with flats, since I went barefoot the entire party.  I’ve never understood women who dance in heels!
I worried sometimes that it was too casual a dress and that it had never really felt like “the one.”  That’s an idea that the wedding industry and that other brides even sell really hard, so I was worried that I was making some mistake and giving up too early in my quest for the world’s most perfect gown.  But that day, I didn’t feel at all a bride.  I felt like myself on the day that I happened to be getting married.  It wasn’t “the one,” but it was perfect.

My shoes I found by random chance at Banana Republic over the summer sometime.  I’d had my heart set on yellow patent leather flats, but found my search foiled at every turn.  When I saw the teal, I figured that would be a perfect substitute.  I broke them in by wearing them to work on and off in the months leading to the wedding and actually just wore them grocery shopping yesterday (who says you have to do your errands in your sweats?).  It makes me really happy that my wedding shoes are a part of my wardrobe that I get to take out, use, and enjoy for plenty of time to come!

My poof is called Marilyn and is from Sara Gabriel, who I discovered through the blog A Practical Wedding.  In her quest for a wedding headpiece, Meg listed lots of different options, one of which was this poof.  I didn’t want a traditional long veil because I felt too bride-y and not enough like me.  Bird cages weren’t working, since I wear glasses and that’s just too much happening in front of my face.  I was afraid that I’d smoosh any poor flowers that ended up attached to my head.  And yet, I didn’t want to go entirely decoration-less on my hair.  A poof seemed like just the ticket!  Sara Gabriel headpieces and veils are only sold in one store in Massachusetts, Country Weddings in Hingham, which was fortunately having a trunk show in the spring.  She really has the most fabulous assortment of veils and headpieces, some of which are really, really glamorous and other of which are totally edgy.  I thought my poof was a happy medium.  It is ridiculously fun to wear and elicited tons of compliments on all my wedding-morning errands.  I’m really disappointed that I can’t think of another place to wear it!

My jewelry came from this really fabulous designer from Austin, Texas, Tracy Tenpenny.  I know I found her through a blog, though I can’t remember which.  I called Tracy to ask about her return policy and ended up talking with her about my wedding and what I was thinking about wearing for jewelry.  She was immensely helpful and asked for pictures of my clothes and shoes, which she then replied to with a number of different suggestions for earrings and necklaces.  She showed me some pieces that weren’t listed on the site and swapped out different stones in different necklaces for me to see.  I ended up ordering a necklace and a set of earrings from her and loved them.  Both have gotten use before and after the wedding and I’m also really happy that they’ll be part of my wardrobe for years to come.  I could not have had a more pleasant experience dealing with a vendor!

In December I’m visiting a non-profit in West Virginia that I worked with for a year after college.  One of the services that they provide is free clothing to families who are in dire situations.  I’m bringing my gown and poof with me, in the hopes that they’ll bring as much happiness to someone else as they did to me.  Though I’m attached to them, I’d rather see them out there adorning another bride (brides??) than yellowing in my closet.  And hopefully they’ll remember the sound of bluegrass and be ready to party again!

Posted in clients, inspiration, wedding, wisdom 2 Comments »

I usually try to follow-up with potential wedding clients who I felt a connection with, but ultimately chose to go with another photographer. It’s really interesting to me to know whom they choose to shoot their wedding, and also to actually see the wedding photos, since I liked the people so much. Here’s a note from a recent bride whose parents made the photography decision for her large Boston-area desi wedding.

“The run-up to the wedding was madcap. We ended up with this photographer named [edited for tact]. My parents chose him mainly because of price. I was not happy with him and nor in the end were they. In fact, I fought with him on my wedding day! I am the least aggro of people but he really pushed my buttons and I don’t regret it. Though I did scare my friends. Eek… I hope it’s not on tape but it probably is. Oh well. He was just really intrusive and rude. I would even say obnoxious. The pictures came out well—but that had more to do with the fact that we all looked good and the venue was lovely and the colors, etc, were so striking that it’s hard not to photograph well. But professionally speaking, he was not up to par.”

It makes me so sad, and kind of embarrassed on behalf of wedding photography, that occasionally photographers have such a negative ‘bedside manner.’ It’s one thing to do what you need to do to get the shot, but another altogether to invade the privacy – and disrespect the wishes – of your clients on their wedding day.

One of the most important skill sets when running a photography business is how you read people. This chump obviously needs to go back to charm school! 

Posted in ethnic wedding, for photographers, vendor, wedding, wisdom No Comments »

I’m busy doing final projects before headed out the door for Bulgaria, but this article made me stop, look, gasp, and nod. It’s the most on-point, grounded, and well-written article I have read on the topic…. and the photographers the author shadows (John and Joseph) are literally the photographers whose work I most admire.

PHOTOGRAPHY
By Cody Ellerd
source: Seattle Bride Magazine

Please pass along this article to any couples you know who are thinking through their options in regard to budget, photography, and their wedding.

___________________________________

Also, related: here’s a blog post I wrote awhile ago about experience and wedding photography. [ Is Experience Necessary? ]

Posted in clients, for photographers, inspiration, wedding, wisdom 2 Comments »

“A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.”
—Mignon McLaughlin

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“My work is very intimate and artistic. I think it has a timeless quality and yet is also very contemporary. I try to be very thoughtful and aware while I am shooting, so that I can capture the nuances of every wedding I have the honor of being a part of.”

-Elizabeth Messina

Posted in colleagues, for photographers, inspiration, wedding, wisdom 1 Comment »

On hiring a photographer
excerpts from a post by Mel Worthington

#1: Shop for an artist, not an appliance.
Understanding the price points of dishwashers is relatively easy because all dishwashers wash dishes the same way. Differences in pricing are a matter of special features, brand names, warranties and the like. It’s easy to compare, assess, and choose based on your needs and budget.

It’s tempting to shop for a photographer the same way and compare package pricing. The problem is that no two photographers take pictures the same way or have the same point of view. Complicating matters further, no two studios offer the same kind of albums or extras and there are no baseline standards on pricing. So how do you know what you are really paying for?

It helps to think of photography as a creative service rather than a product. You’re not hiring a photographer but commissioning an artist. People buy art because its something they love and want to live with everyday. They pay no attention to the cost of the canvas, paints, or other materials that went into its physical making. Art pieces have intrinsic value based on the owner’s relationship to the piece and your wedding photography should be the same way. For example, an album that comes in a package is useless unless you love the photos that will go in it.

Look at your budget for photography and eliminate options outside of it (for now). Interview the contenders whose style and work you love. Let go of the “stuff.” Albums, etc. can always come later. In short, start with the art and come back to the price tag.

So what constitutes style? Look carefully at the work you are shown on a photographer’s website or in your first meeting. Do you like one picture, a handful of pictures, or all of what you see? If you love all of what you see (or pretty close to it), it’s likely that you really like that photographer’s style. Do you see yourself in their photos? Would you love to have photos like these of yourself adorning the walls of your home like art? If a particular photo stands out for you, ask the photographer to talk about it…why did he/she take it? You can learn a lot about a photographer’s point of view through conversations like this.

OK, by now you have interviewed a few select photographers whose style you love. While you may never be able to compare apples to apples, the value of each contender’s pricing should become more apparent after interviewing. Remember that a photographer is only worth the extra cost if you can identify what it is that sets them apart from their competition.

#2 You don’t have to be BFFs but you should like the guy/gal
Another relevant thought is that a dishwasher isn’t going to interact with you whereas a photographer will. Ask yourself, are you comfortable around this person? Would you enjoy having him/her/them around on such an important day? Do you know anyone who has worked with this photographer and were they happy with the job he/she/they did? Do you have any concerns that this person will do or say something inappropriate on your wedding day? Are you confident you would have a good experience working with this photographer?

Sometimes I hear a couple say that their friends got better pictures of them than their professional photographer did. When I ask whether or not they liked their photographer as a person, they shrug or say no. This just makes me sad because that photographer didn’t stand a chance: I know from experience how hard it is to get a good picture of someone who isn’t comfortable around you or doesn’t trust you completely. Of course their friends got better pictures!

#3: Don’t ask for the pictures you want, find the guy/gal who already takes them
Here’s a pitfall we have fallen into before. As photographers, we want to please our clients and fulfill special requests. But when asked to work outside of our regular style (i.e. take more close ups or fish eye shots, use a particular effect, recreate another photographer’s picture) our attempt to please may do more harm than good.

For example, a couple described a particular perspective of their ceremony that they saw another in another photographer’s studio and emphasized how important this shot was to them. I spent so much time during the ceremony making it happen despite lighting and physical limitations that I missed the shots I normally get… the ones I am really good at getting. I was trying to wear another photographer’s shoes and, in the process, stepped out of my own.

Love your photographer’s vision and trust it. If you don’t see what you want in the portfolio you are shown, keep looking until you find it.

- Mel Worthington
[ source 1 ]
[ source 2 ]

There is more in the original post, but I really liked these first points.

Posted in clients, colleagues, inspiration, wedding, wisdom 3 Comments »